I’m all in favor of fashionable activewear (obviously), but at the end of the day, my activewear needs to be just that: activewear. Occasionally, I see styles that are so far out on the edge that I can’t help but think the only run they’ll ever know is a coffee run. The examples below represent some of my most confusing moments while spandex shopping.
Before I dive in, I want to be clear that I don’t intend to insult anyone person or brand here. Everyone has different opinions on everything, so if you happen to like one of these things and it’s working for you, then by all means, keep doing your thing. This post is meant to be light-hearted, and only represents my own thoughts and reactions.
1 | Lace-up leggings
Lace-up styles are very on-trend right now, but usually the tied-up details are subtle when they’re applied to activewear. These leggings take lace-up to a whole new level. I’m sure they’re stylish as casual leggings, but they also boast performance compression fabric, so clearly they were made with fitness in mind. But with a pinchy, stringy panel all down the front, I would barely want to walk around in these, much less do rapid-fire squats while they rub up and down my knees. And lunges? I’m cringing just thinking about it.
The offender: Carbon38 x Jonathan Simkhai lace-up corset legging
2 | Mesh in dangerous locations
I think the idea here is that putting mesh right below your bum will frame the whole area and thus give you a visual lift.
That said, I hope you don’t need to lean over, squat, or really move in any way, because these would only have to shift an inch or two before you’re revealing more than you bargained for. I can’t imagine not being horribly self-conscious and worried about flashing someone if I wore these to the gym.
And the super bananas crazy thing? These have been on Revolve’s bestseller list for ages. Maybe that means these are ultra-flattering miracle pants? Guess I’ll never find out.
The offender: Beloforte laced legging
P.S. They even offer a white version, for those who really, REALLY want to live life on the edge.
3 | One-shoulder sports bras
I think these should really be called “athletic inspired asymmetrical bralettes”, not actually “sports bras”, because I don’t think they have an ounce of “sport” in them. I can’t imagine these being anything other than purely decorative. Even if you’re small-busted, one shoulder doesn’t sound comfortable for a high-impact workout. A shoulder cramp waiting to happen.
The offenders: Affitnity one shoulder sports bra / Solow asymmetrical cut-out sports bra
4 | Crotch zips
With a metal zip hanging out front and center, any core work or stretching on your belly is a no-go because ouch. Honestly, I’m good without something digging into my pubic bone mid-workout. If I wanted a zip fly, I’d wear jeans.
Also, I don’t see the appeal of directing gazes straight to my lady business. Nope.
The offenders: Daquini crescent legging / Blue Life Fit zip it legging
5 | Hip cut-outs
Who needs muffin tops above your waistband when you can have them below your waistband?
First of all, I guess you have no choice but to go commando with these. Second of all, no matter how low your body fat is, I can’t imagine these being flattering. Not to mention the pinching! The idea of these slicing and squishing my hip meat while I try to exercise just sounds like a recipe for a bad time.
The offenders: Blue Life Fit suspender legging / Varley Rialto tight
Have you tried any of these? Am I dead wrong? What would you add to the list?
There was a girl who’d wear one shoulder bras/tops to barre classes. I always thought she looked completely ridiculous (and a little like she was trying out for an 80s music video.)
So YES to all of your questions. I don’t get it either.
this post is the best!!!!
i totally agree w/ all these offenders. i have no desire to flash anyone at the gym or yoga (though let me tell you — ive seen the weirdest body parts during hot yoga).
tbh these remind me of clubbing clothes more than anything. although they may be too covered up for clubbing. :P
Thanks for the laughs!
Don’t see any of these as practical in any way, nor do I find them attractive.
Love this post! I often wonder who is buying these items…certainly nobody where I live. Must be people in Miami/LA who have perfect bods!
Love your post! Do more like this, it’s hilarious, and exactly my thoughts as well, when I see these clothes online. I have never actually seen people where any of these items, and I can’t imagine they are for actually working out. Lol. Thanks for the laugh this morning :)
OMG YES ALL OF THESE!
You know what else has been irritating me lately from almost-all athletic brands: tying a knot in a shirt – particularly in the lower back to get a top to “fit” better. First, how about you actually make shirts that are fitted and not boxy, athletic brand? Also, this is not the least bit comfortable for most any yoga class or anywhere you would be doing core or functional work. Even when running and I have to take a layer off and tie around me is annoying as all get out; doing so intentionally is just ridiculous.
My rant. :)
Totally agree!! I always thought the little knotted back tanks were so cute, but after wearing one during ab day & using the leg press, I haven’t reached for it. Who knew knotted cotton could be so painful!
I’ve also been mildly frustrated by the lack of nice, fitted tops. There’s a time and place for loose, but I don’t want some billowy top up in my ears when I’m trying to down dog.
Re: knots, big knots I don’t get *at all*. I have a couple tops from Alala that tie in the back, but the knot is very small so it doesn’t bother me. That said, I mostly use them for running/hiking where my back doesn’t ever press against anything, so that might be part of why I don’t mind!
this is so funny, i love it!
kinda reminds me of the good ole days when you had the lulu problems funnies on sundays :-D
that last pair of hip cutouts is THE WORST. I’m pretty sure if they are that unflattering on that gorgeous model, they would create C-cup hip boobs on me. not what I’m going for.
C cup hip boobs….OMG, too perfect.
I guess to each her own. As a bodybuilding pro who spends hours in the gym lifting, I actually own items with these kinds of features and have never had a problem and believe me when I say I put my workout gear to the test! As a woman who is constantly berated for my muscle looking manly, I love items with unusual cuts, slits, ties and mesh that make me feel feminine and sexy and I don’t care who thinks I look ridiculous!
Oh man I was hoping someone would chime in who’s actually worn one of these things for working out, so thank you for proving it *does* happen and can actually work. :)
Lol, thank you for this. I’m a full on hourglass and seeing the last pair giving me nightmares. My hips would hate me. Might work on someone with more of a ruler shape.
The one with mesh up the butt is the biggest offender though. I don’t care if others think it’s cute, I don’t go to the gym to see ppl’s butts!!
This post is hilarious! The mesh in dangerous places is hideous and they look like hooker leggings. Seriously! Those hip cut outs are just plain distracting and I will be staring nonstop at a person if she wears these.
Hilarious! Needed some laugh-out-loud humor here at work…
Lol!! Love this!! I actually own a pair of die-cut pants but I don’t dare to workout in them…just casually around. But the others….lol! Thanks for the laughs!!
Hahahahaha. No. I don’t get it either.
All I would like to add is – WTF
OMG yes! i can’t imagine wearing any of this for even light yoga! i mean if you like it, more power to you, but these details are just not for me. i didn’t even realize there were this many uncomfortable trends until they were compiled together lol.
Great post! I’ve looked at some of these trends and wondered how anyone could pull them off for functional workouts.
I think the one shoulder bras and hip cutouts are the most confusing. In fact, that’s the word I’d use to describe these trends: CONFUSING.
Exactly! I think my reaction when I first saw the lace-up collection in the first pic was just “wait, WHAT???”
Ha! We are thrilled to have made the offenders list! And the irony of it all is that the one shoulder sports bra is our number 1 seller. Girls often ask for more colors :)
As Helen stated to each her own :) Thank you for the feature Suzanne!
PS: Hope we can contribute in the near future.